being in san francisco

so america keeps trying to convince me that its food is real. real beef! the ads say, real milk!... which makes me wonder, what this food otherwise is?!

"grass fed beef" says one menu. "farm-grown potatoes" boasts a crisps packet. do cows not otherwise eat grass? are potatoes not otherwise grown on farms?

but i like san francisco so far. i like the visual treat of both the new and old. it IS beautiful and people are friendly. and i like the paper toilet seat covers and use them every time.

i know that i could be doing a lot of touristy things. but instead i've been enjoying spending time with migrant locals. living through their years of immigrant experiences vicariously through summarised reflections of what moving to america has meant for them, watching san francisco evolve and gentrify.

the american dream both is and isn't. it IS amazing that you can be whatever it is that you want to be, especially in a place as culturally diverse as san francisco. but if you don't achieve your dream, then it really isn't worth it living in the states - i don't think. you end up in a vicious cycle of making ends meet, staying stuck. too stuck to leave. and too stuck to enjoy staying. but for those who make it, i can understand why they would never want to leave.

coming to san francisco

the last time (and first time) i was in san francisco, i was 15, it was the end of a millennium and there were grand speculations about how the world was going to end.

i went with family and stayed with family and don't remember much besides eating and shopping.

the woman next to me on the plane told me that it was beautiful but i don't think i had much of a concept of the beauty of cities then and so i just took her word for it.

16 years later, i'm here again, this time for work and i appreciate it much more both as someone who has traveled and as someone who has grown roots. i care about the history and character of a city and it's exciting to be in a place that has changed exponentially.

in the late 90s, my cousin had gotten into the gaming industry straight out of high school. little did anyone know that that was to define the city and that the city was to define the world of technology.

everyone here works in tech, my friend says, at dinner as she explains who around the table works where. and true enough, everyone either has a start up or is innovating, or is working for a tech firm in some way or form... except laura from new york who makes a living suing people for some magnetic device she "invented".

we go out to a club after dinner and everyone is super friendly and quite polite and i wonder if this is typically san franciscan. everyone here goes to burning man, my friend explains, which is a week long party in the desert.

during the day we had gone window shopping and site seeing and she had told me all about the kinds of things san franciscans like, which is just about everything. there are themed parties for themed parties' sake. there is innovation for innovation's sake. but there are more non san franciscans in san francisco than san franciscans because people leave. the streets are becoming gentrified. and there is so much money people don't know what to do with, they get high and don't commit.

i do notice that people in the club range from 30 - 50.

it's never-ever land. we don't grow up.

it is fun in the club and the light shows are mesmerising and the people around me seem to be in good spirits not necessary because they're high (although i did learn later that there was a lot of coke going round) but simply because they want to have fun and fun seems to be a necessary part of living in san francisco.

but amidst all this fun which i'm happy to have for the time that i'm here, i think that i wouldn't want to stay in never-ever land. and that there is something sad about not evolving.